Our Voices Within and Dancing 5Rhythms with Them

Do you ever look at how many different versions of you show up in the course of a day? There's the you that gets things done, the you that wants to please someone, the you that worries, the you that wants to be left alone.

There's the you that wants to hold back and the you that wants to throw caution to the wind. And underneath these different versions of you, there reside the quieter voices we may have learned not to listen to: the playful you, the wild you, the angry you, the vulnerable you, the you that needs.

We often talk about these parts of ourselves as if they're contradictions, problems to resolve. But what if they're simply the diverse inner ecosystem that makes us who we are? This is one of the doorways Voice Dialogue, developed by American psychologists Hal and Sidra Stone, opens.

Voice Dialogue suggests we are not just one self.

We develop different ways of being in response to our families, relationships, culture, and life experience. Some of these selves become strong and familiar, and they help us function.

Maybe you have a Pusher who keeps you going when things get hard. A Caretaker who instinctively notices when someone is in need. A Perfectionist who makes sure things are complete; a Controller who likes to know what's coming next.

These selves aren't bad. They've served us well. The interesting question is what happens when we become wholly identified with only one of them. When the Pusher takes over, can we stop? When the Caretaker takes over, can we receive help? When the Controller takes over, can we surrender? When the Perfectionist takes over, can we allow ourselves to play?

Voice Dialogue offers: rather than getting rid of a single identified self, we should get to know them. Instead of being in a state of "I am a perfectionist," we shift toward "there is a perfectionist in me." That small bit of space can change everything about how you show up in the world.

This is where Voice Dialogue meets 5Rhythms for me.

We can talk about our different selves, but we can also feel them in the body. You may know the Pusher intellectually, but what happens when you let the Pusher dance? How does it move, how much space does it take, does it ever stop?

And what happens when you invite another you onto the floor instead: the you that resists the change of tempo, or the shy you wanting to dance out of sight, or the playful child within wanting to leap about the room, or the you looking to connect with others?

The 5Rhythms wave gives these qualities a constantly shifting landscape to emerge in.

Flowing brings us into grounding and the familiar ways we organize ourselves. Staccato awakens our capacity for boundaries and choice, the voice that says yes and the one that says no. Chaos loosens our usual ways of controlling things, so when we don't know what's next. Lyrical invites play and lightness. And in Stillness, we get to witness all of it without becoming any one part of ourselves.

You don't need to know what part of you is going to show up to the dance. You move your body, and notice what comes up. Maybe you see that you hold back when the music gets powerful, or feel uncomfortable when the music changes from a song you enjoy. Maybe you suddenly move in a way you haven't moved in years.

The body often knows things before the mind has words for them. A movement can reveal a pattern, and a pattern can reveal a familiar self, and once we can see that self, we have a little more choice in how to show up.

This isn't about changing who you are.

It's about becoming more available to the many possibilities already within you: your strength without becoming hard, your vulnerability without being overwhelmed, your anger without being consumed, your playfulness without feeling irresponsible, your capacity to care for others without abandoning yourself.

In my Heart of the Warrior Workshop, you bring your own body, your own history, your own patterns and unexplored possibilities onto the floor. There's no right way to do it. Just bring your curiosity, step onto the floor, and see who wants to dance.

Maybe you'll meet a part of yourself you already know well. Maybe you'll meet one you've kept at a distance. Or in the space between the rhythms, you'll discover something even more interesting: the awareness that welcomes all of you.

Sylvie & the SDP Team